Black Mass Trailer #2 REVIEW


Bitch, I’m the truth!

Thats what I scream during sex. With myself. On Friday night. In the dark. Anyway.

Johnny Depp ditched Tim Burton and the white powder makeup to do something good with his amazing acting ability FINALLY.

What a dick eh? Depriving us of all his wonderful talents and instead giving us the equivalent of watching an amalgamation of a drag show/comedy act on fire in PeeWee Hermans childhood bedroom. Descriptive. Bitch I’m the truth.

Several “THANK GOD!” moments here. Thank god we get another gritty mob movie that harkens Goodfellas and the like. Depp’s character looks like his talent had sex with Ray Liotta and I dig it greatly.

The cast is dripping with badassery and I can’t even (or am too lazy) to pick apart all the awesome people in it because the list is so long and distinguished. (Like my johnson! AAAAAAHHH!) #StoleItFromTopGun #ButYouKnewThat #IfYouDidntGoBackInTimeAndDontReadTheseHashtags #PretendImAwesome

DOUSCHEBAG THAT RATES TRAILERS (me) gives this a 9.5

– Mike

Eli Roth & Keanu Reeves’ “Knock Knock” Trailer


Eli Roth & Keanu Reeves’ “Knock, Knock” Trailer

Here’s the teaser trailer:

That may be my favorite 30 second trailer of all time. One reason being I don’t remember a single other 30 second trailer off the top of my head. BUT! This one looks awesome. The Keanu Reeves badass comeback continues.

A midst trying to get Green Inferno finally released Roth and Reeves are over at Sundance promoting this little ditty. I say it looks like a blasty blast. Two hot women show up at your door soaking wet from the rain while the wife and kids are away sounds like the start to a porno…… AND IT IS!!! But what happens after?

Unless this is based on what Keanu’s real life….there will be crazy woman psycho hose beast consequences for this night of fun and shower banging while creepy lighting hits.

The idea actually creeps me out. Well done Eli Roth. Looks like a good start for a guy who says he wants to change his reputation as a film maker to not just be that-guy-who-does-gross-shit. He says it is different from anything he’s ever done. I believe him too…..because…..Keanu.

Mike
WeWatchedAMovie

Source: JoBlo

“The Worlds End” Trailer Review


the worlds end

The Worlds End is Directed by Edgar Wright and stars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. All of which as you probably know if you cared enough to read this are members of the greatness that was Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Personally I prefer Shaun to Fuzz (That sounded weird) any day and this delights me (Did I just say “Delights?”, shoot me)  because Worlds End seems a lot more in the Dead wheelhouse. Apparently this time Simon Pegg is the belligerent fool and Nick Frost is the more slightly normal one of the two which should be a fun switch. Although it looks like Nick Frost does go bat-shit at one point in the trailer which looks fun as well.

Apparently they meet up as old friends and attempt to complete a Pub crawl in which they drink one pint at twelve different bars in one night but then their old town it turns out has been taken over by robots who glow from their faces. The two guys plus a couple of other buddies and a hot chick have to survive and save the town! Like I said…..sounds like Shaun of the Dead!!!! I’m using exclamation points because that’s exciting!!!!! Can you tell!?!?!?! That time I had to mix them with question marks!!!! Because it was a quest— sorry about that.

This looks as insane as it does fun and just became one of my most anticipated movies of the year. Just for fun I’m gonna give a pre-rating and guess that I’ll end up giving The Worlds End a 9/10 ……. and no it is not lost on me that it is completely pointless and dumb to give a pre-rating to a movie based on a trailer but dammit I’m excited right now and if sportscasters can make a prediction on a game then I can on a movie dammit! The only thing that was deterring in the trailer was the need to use the same gag they used in Hot Fuzz of people trying to jump over things and falling down twice in the trailer alone. I know…..I’m being nit-picky. So what is your pre-rating of The Worlds End????? Comment below!

By: Mike Holtz